The word 'Etiquette' originated in French, where it was initially the notch in a stick meant, and only later an inscription on a certain object. At the ducal court of 'Philippe Le Bon', 31 July 1396 - 15 June 1467, the visitors were given the court rules on a card (an etiquette) in advance, so that they would not make any mistakes.

Etiquette, or more accurately decorum, is the set of culture-specific rules of politeness and manners. The essence of etiquette is primordial consideration for the feelings of others and for the customs of and in a society, in this all possible situations in which people can interact.

In general, we can say that etiquette concerns: Introductions, greetings, introducing oneself, introducing someone else, behaviour at the table, invitations, clothing, decorations, make-up and perfume, courtesy and helpfulness, all forms of communication, etc.

And it is fair to say that today, more than ever, there is a need for etiquette. More basic courtesy is welcome, but unfortunately, in many cases, a lost or forgotten art.

Etiquette rules, however, can come into being for various reasons. First and foremost, they can have a practical purpose. Table manners are the best example. For example, during a chic dinner or lunch, the bread on your bread plate is never cut, but broken or torn by hand. The knife is only for the butter. And when your soup plate is almost empty, you tilt it away from you, not towards you, to take the last spoonful.

Other rules are there to respect the balance of power: For example, you will never dress better or prettier than the main ast at a party. Nor should you think it is respectful to appear fully dressed in your best outfit.

Clear rules ensure that no one has to feel uncomfortable, even in new or awkward situations. After all, one only has to observe the etiquette. This way, everyone can feel comfortable in all situations.

Let's discuss one more example, because there are overlapping fields of etiquette: such as the rules of conduct for a company manager or CEO and his or her secretary. In a business context the higher rank of the CEO always prevails, but in an informal context the general rules for relations between men and women apply. So in practice this means that a male CEO will walk to the right of the secretary when they are on their way to a meeting for example, but as a gentleman he will step to the left when they go out for a bite to eat together in the evening. That way, as a true gentleman, he can then offer his stronger right arm. But.... if the lady is exposed on the street side: then they switch positions, so that the man protects the woman from the danger of the street.

Unfortunately, people in general have become rougher and more antisocial. And it is the antisocial aspect in particular that catches the eye. On an aeroplane, it's easy to look behind you before you suddenly pull your seat back, isn't it? Giving up your seat on a tram or bus for a lady or elderly person?

However, the 'faux pas' is on the rise. For instance, it is not done for a salesman to shake hands with a customer. Who says the customer wants to do that? As well as immediately asking "can I help you? This comes across as intrusive. Being around and making eye contact is a better option, especially if it concerns a better business.

Nor should you thank the waiter or butler every time he does something for you or serves you.
Trop is too much!

In China, by the way, you never give a watch, a knife or scissors: they symbolise that the relationship is finite in time or can be cut. And do not use black, white or blue gift paper, colours associated with death. You score with red.

Ladies first' always applies at the door, unless you are entering a restaurant.
Then the gentleman steps in first - to catch the glances of the guests present in the line of fire - and goes out first - to check that everything is safe.

Raising your glass at the toast is also a real faux pas. In a proper toast, you raise your glass, look everyone in the eye, and after one sip, raise your glass again. Certainly do not follow this up with wishing 'good food', because that implies 'the hope or wish' that the meal will be tasty. Enjoy' is a good alternative.

The linen or cotton napkin: A hate issue for so many. When you sit down at the table, fold it into a triangle and place it on your lap with the point towards your knees. That guarantees the most stability.
Afterwards, the napkin is never put on the table again, except at the end of the meal, when you put it in a ball to the left of your plate. The right side of the plate signals that you want to stay asleep. But this is a very old rule that is no longer really in use. And if you have to leave the table during the meal, which can happen to anyone, you put the napkin stretched out over the seat of your chair or over the left armrest if there is one. And, you only wipe the corners of your mouth.

It goes without saying that you never make loud phone calls in the street, you may tip a butler, but always in an envelope. And if you are invited for dinner somewhere, it is nice to have the flowers delivered beforehand, because the hostess has her hands full. Or as an alternative, you can give them to the guests upon arrival, but then already in a vase.

In short, we can say that etiquette simply makes life and dealing with others a lot more pleasant.

The world of etiquette is very broad. Etiquette in the East is different from that here, but just as important. Just think of the tea ceremony, for example. Military etiquette also exists, and in the business world, etiquette can determine the success of a deal!

One can go very far into it, but with a little basis and some logical thinking, one can go a long way! It has a lot to do with courtesy.

Raphaël van den Poel, former fashion consultant of Scapa, Reinhard Frans and Atelier NA tailored suits,
writes our weekly blog on gentleman matters. He works for MYX Magazine, a Flemish luxury lifestyle platform.
He also has his own blog which you can read here: http://belgiandandy.blogspot.com